Week 1: Knowing Yourself as a Loved Sinner -- Day 1 (Friday May 18)

In this week we'll be focussing our reflective attention on our sin. What we have to recognize as followers of Jesus who desire a closer walk with him is that it's vitally important for us to acknowledge our sin. Still, we don't do this as some sort of morbid, self-depricating exercise to make us feel weighed down with guilt. This is simply an honest attempt to bring to light those things in our lives that need improvement. When God sheds light of Jesus Christ on these areas we can't help but grow and improve. Tim Muldoon put it this way, "No one can grow in any way, be it as an athlete or intellectually or spiritually, unless he or she becomes aware of mistakes and wrongdoings." So, the purpose of this week's exercises is to become more aware of those mistakes and wrongdoings and the unique ways they negatively impact our relationship to God.

I see myself as a sinner -- bound, helpless, alienated -- before a loving God and all the love-gifts of creation (Spiritual Exercises 56).

I let the weight of such evil, all stemming from me, be felt throughout my whole being (Spiritual Exercises 57).

A Colloquy is made (Colloquy is a term that describes the intimate conversation between God the Father, Christ, [the Holy Spirit], and me). This conversation happens on the occassion of my putting myself as totally as I can into the setting of prayer. I will find that I speak or listen as God's Spirit moves me -- somtimes accusing myself as a sinner, sometimes letting myself be carried as a child, at other times letting expressing myself as lover or friend, and so on (Spiritual Exercises 54).

As you move through the exercises in the coming days it is important to feel the weight of your sin, but not be overburdened by it. You are after all a forgiven and dearly loved sinner.

If you find yourself being tormented by guilt simply pause and offer it to God.

Using Composition of Place (See sidebar) read and pray through the following passage:

Luke 15:11-32

Using Lectio Divina (See sidebar) read and pray through the following passage:

Psalm 51

Questions to Reflect On:

1. What am I beginning to realize about my own blindness, deafness, and insensitivity to sin and evil?
2. At home or at work, what are the subtle ways I use to ignore or excuse sin, especially any connected to my status or role and its perceived power or influence.
3. What contributes to my being more critical of others' shortcomings and less adept at recognizing my own.
4. How might I be blinded to addictive patterns in my own life which inflict harm on myself or others?
5. In conjunction with the reading from Luke 15 how have I squandered (younger brother) or not used (older brother) the inheritence the Father has given me? As I return to the Father what do I say? What does he say to me?

Suggestion for Daily Living: During the day, make choices which limit those things such as noise or exposure to violence which can blunt your sensitivity to both grace and sin.

Click on Comments to view Pastor Mike's Reflections and make your own comments.