Week 1: Knowing Yourself as a Loved Sinner -- Day 2 (Saturday May 19)

I put myself before God and look at the contrast; God, the source of life, and I, the cause of death; God the source of love, and I, with all my petty jealousies and hatreds; God, from whom all good gifts comes, and I, with my selfish attempts to win favour, buy attention, be well thought of, and so on (Spiritual Exercises 59).

I look at my world. Everything cooperates to continue to give me life and strength... air and water... all the produce of the earth... everything contributes to my well being.

I think of the people who have prayed for me and love me.

Everywhere I look, the more astonished I become, seeing so much good comin in on me, while I issue forth so many evils. (Spiritual Exercises 60)

Today we want to gain an even greater perspective of our sins. We reflect on the fact that so many sinful thoughts, desires, and actions can come out of one person. Even our best actions are tainted by the smallest speck of sin -- perhaps a distorted motivation, or a self-centered one.

One Jesuit author noted that, "I am like a walking contagion of diseases who continues to walk who continues to walk throughout my world, affecting it and everyone who comes into my life."

Still we affirm that God upholds and loves his creation, and me and despite the ways I might twist and warp it. And he still gives us good gifts. Our only response can be one of gratitude and thanks, wondering at God's forgiving love, a love that gives me life and freedom even to this moment.

Using Lection Divina (see sidebar) read and pray through the following passage:

Psalm 130
Romans 7:18-25

Questions to Reflect On:

1. Do negative attitudes or self-defeating behavious lead me to choose death over life for myself and others, even in small ways? What choices am I making which are leading to death rather than life for me and others?
2. In what ways am I actively affecting the world around me (including people) by my sins?
3. How am I complicit in sin, both it's social and personal dimensions?
4. What areas of human misery in the world move me?
5. In recognizing the social dimensions of son, what small steps am I willing to take to be part of the problem instead of the solution?

Suggestion for Daily Living: Read beyond the headlines of the story of human suffering in the newspaper, looking for the deeper causes of it.

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